Working with Men

I am particularly proud of my work with men. Since childhood, we as men are usually taught a very practical approach to dealing with problems in life. In many contexts, this approach works very well! However, in many life situations, the most effective solution involves understanding and expressing emotions rather than practical changes to the world “out there”. Emotions like sorrow, joy, anger and desire are the vital clues telling us what we care about. If we are confused about what goals we should be pursuing, we can’t figure it out without examining our emotions more carefully. And we can only form deep, lasting relationships with others by learning how to understand their needs and emotions, and clearly expressing our own to them. Most poignantly, when we experience a bereavement, there is simply nothing to be done except “process” or “work through” the emotion of grief.

 Unfortunately, because men are often not given the tools to observe and express our own or others’ emotions, we can find ourselves at a loss in these situations. We might find ourselves frozen, unable to move forward. Or we might respond with an emotion (often anger) that’s not appropriate to the situation at hand. In my practice, I am committed to working with men to develop these emotional skills, so that they can more effectively pursue their goals, foster better relationships, and have more joy in their lives.